It is a great feeling to find that perfect mate. The feeling is not unlike that of a superwoman – because you feel as though you can do impossible things like moving mountains and changing the world.

Life, however, has other plans sometimes. The perfect pair does break up and despair sets in. What do you do? Granted, some break-ups can be irreparable. But in most cases, there’s still hope and you can get your ex back. You’ve got to ask yourself this vital question, “Do I really want him back?” If you answered “Yes, I cannot live without him,” here is what you do.

• While being logical is the furthest thing from your mind right now, that is precisely how you should think. Put your emotions aside. It is only natural to feel confused and upset. But if you wallow in your misery, it is not going to help you in any way. Instead, control yourself. Feel stronger by thinking how badly you want your ex back and focus clearly on your goal.  This will not only help you interact better with your ex, but also increase your chances of getting together again.
• Do not grovel or beg to be taken back. If you are serious about getting your ex back, you have to be yourself.  Rather than appear needy, be calm. Be normal. As you develop this attitude, the next time you meet him, you will communicate much better as equals.
• Be creative. Your ex probably broke up with you because he was bored. Get a makeover. Change in a realistic way. Get in shape. Improve your image. Get him to notice you in a positive way, through new eyes, at the new you. This will enhance your chances of getting him back. Take care not to overdo it to the extent that you cannot maintain the new image.
• Always bear in mind the reason for the breakup. You do not really have to keep reliving what happened, but you certainly must analyze why you broke up. Use this exercise as a learning experience so that you don’t repeat it again. Breaking up is not always one person’s fault. Yet, be honest enough to accept where you went wrong, and try to correct yourself. Maybe you nag too much. Maybe your boyfriend doesn’t like the way you react about something specific. Realizing this can help you avoid making the same mistake when you get together again.
• Make a plan of action and stick to it. Breaking down and being desperate is not the solution to breaking up. Being confident will help you succeed in getting your ex back.

You want your boyfriend to be turned “on” by you, not turned “off.” So plan for success and go get your ex back!